"Charging Ahead with Caffeinated Hooves: A Taurus's Galactic Guide to Avoiding Black Holes and Spilled Lattes!"
The next Taurus will start in 158 days, at Saturday, 20 April, 2024
The Moon moves to Taurus in 11 days, at Saturday, 25 November, 2023
Mercury moves to Taurus in 184 days, at Thursday, 16 May, 2024
Venus moves to Taurus in 168 days, at Tuesday, 30 April, 2024
Mars moves to Taurus in 208 days, at Sunday, 09 June, 2024
Jupiter is currently retrograde in Taurus
Uranus is currently retrograde in Taurus
The New moon is currently 0.9 days old. The next new moon is at 23:32:07, 12 Dec 2023. The next full moon is at 0:33:43, 27 Dec 2023.
Greetings, oh bullish Taurus! Today's celestial coordinates indicate a rather peculiar confluence of cosmic forces. First, Jupiter, that mammoth planet of luck and expansion, seems to be taking a leisurely backward stroll through your sign.
Now, I'm not an expert or anything...oh wait, yes I am! #AstroNerd. When Jupiter retrogrades, it's like it's spinning its wheels in cosmic mud, saying "Whoa there, Taurus, time to reassess your goals - and maybe consider ordering a smaller pizza next time."
And Uranus, that cheeky little planet of rebellion and innovation (and a name that never fails to get a snigger from the teenagers), is also moonwalking backwards through Taurus. This is like the universe sending a software update to your personality app, and suddenly you're downloading innovative ideas and funky new ways to rebel against the norm. #UrANerd
During this phase, expect to feel like you're in a Sci-Fi movie, where everything is a little upside down and inside out. You might find yourself saying, "This isn't the salad fork I'm looking for" or "I've got a strange feeling about this...perhaps I should have picked the blue tie instead of the red one!" #StarWarsStyle
Meanwhile, the New Moon is practically a newborn at just 0.9 days old. Now, when the Moon is this young, it's like it's just out of the cosmic oven, still too hot to handle. So, Taurus, it's advisable to handle all things with oven mitts on today, metaphorically speaking of course.
In conclusion, these are peculiar times, dear Taurus. But don't panic. After all, as I often say, "We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life." Only joking! Remember, every retrograde and new moon brings opportunities for growth, change, and a few good laughs along the way. #TaurusTroubles #CosmicComedy
May the force be with you!
#Taurus
SignToday Is Posting: 14.11.2023 07:12:01 (tau-14-11-2023)