Chipwitch Today!

The Sun

The Sun is in Cancer

The Sun is at 17 Can 46' 24", and is 152089672km away and approaching.

The Moon

The Moon is in Aries

The Moon will change from Aries to Taurus in the next 24 hours.

The Moon is at 20 Ari 09' 37", and is 377298km away and receding.

Moon Is In Aries

Greetings, cosmic comrades! Now, don't drop your nachos, but the Moon is parked in Aries right now, strutting around like a celestial Rambo. So, if you find yourself head-butting problems more aggressively than usual, well, you can blame it on this lunar extravaganza. But hey, you're not turning into a werewolf or anything. It's just that the moon is 377,033.561615188km away... give or take a few millimeters. Now, I know what you're thinking: "But isn't that too far for a moon to influence my life?" Well, gravity doesn't discriminate, folks. It's kind of like Wi-Fi, but with less buffering and no need for a password. Just think of it as cosmic room service - it works even when it's far, far away. Now, dear stargazers, within the next 24 hours, our lovely Luna will be moving from Aries to Taurus. So, instead of charging ahead like some sort of space bull, you might feel more like kicking back, enjoying a good meal, maybe even investing in Bitcoin or buying that fancy plant you've been eyeing. You know, typical Taurus stuff. But remember, we're all spinning on a giant space rock in an unfathomably large universe. So, whether you're feeling more Aries or Taurus, don't forget to laugh at the cosmic joke that is existence. And maybe eat some nachos. Because, why not? Now, go forth and be stellar!

Mercury

Mercury is in Cancer

Mercury will change from Cancer to Leo in the next 24 hours.

Mercury is prograde at 28 Can 11' 45", moving at 1.99 degrees per day, and is 193608339km away and approaching.

Mercury Is In Cancer

Mercurial Crabby Vibes

Alright, let's get into some serious astrological jargon, shall we? Mercury, the planet with a major god complex and a penchant for communication, is currently chilling with Cancer, the celestial crab. Now, before you start picturing a planet-sized crustacean, let me clarify - it’s not literal! And no, Mercury hasn't developed a sudden craving for seafood. It's all about the vibes, man!

So, what does this mean? Well, Mercury in Cancer is like having that emotionally intelligent friend who always gives great advice and makes you comfort food when you're down. It's a time when our brains and hearts start dating, resulting in some serious emotion-packed brainstorming sessions.

When our cosmic messenger is hanging out with the Crab, we channel our inner Care Bears, expressing love and protection with ease. You might even feel a sudden urge to write poetry or send heartfelt texts to your loved ones at 2 a.m. Don't fight it, just go with the flow - it's the cosmic waves, dude!

Mercury's vacation in Cancer also amplifies our Spidey senses, making us more attuned to our gut feelings. You know, those weird hunches you get when something feels off? Yeah, it's time to trust those. They might seem illogical, but remember, logic is just one slice of the cosmic pizza.

And lastly, Mercury in Cancer turns us all into stellar listeners. It's like we've suddenly been gifted with elf ears – we hear everything, we understand, and we care. So, if you find yourself actually listening to your partner's rants about their favorite conspiracy theories or your aunt's lengthy descriptions of her gardening techniques, thank the stars, or well, Mercury in Cancer.

So folks, let's ride this cosmic wave and remember - keep it groovy, keep it real, and always listen with your heart, not just your ears. Until Mercury decides to switch things up again, happy star-gazing!

Venus

Venus is in Leo

Venus is prograde at 25 Leo 43' 52", moving at 0.42 degrees per day, and is 64535811km away and approaching.

Venus Is In Leo

"Hold on to your telescopes, constellation enthusiasts! Venus has just sashayed into Leo and things are about to get hot, playful and potentially melodramatic. It's like a cosmic Broadway show with Leo in the leading role and Venus operating the spotlight. You know how in sci-fi films, the alien lifeforms always seem to be attracted to the most radiant energy source and then proceed to cause creative chaos? Well, that's pretty much what's happening in the celestial sphere right now. Leo, the fiery, expressive sign that it is, is all about creativity, showing off and speaking from the heart. Add Venus - the cosmic influencer of love and beauty - to the mix, and you've got a recipe for some serious celestial fireworks. Think less Fourth of July, more supernova explosion. During this transit, no one wants to just be liked or appreciated. Oh no, we all want to be adored, admired, worshipped even! It's not the time to idle in your space pod, but to step out and make grand gestures. If you're playing it safe, you might just end up floating away in the void while others are exploring new galaxies of love. However, watch out for the potential drama. Leo does love a good show after all. And if you don't feel like you're getting the attention you deserve, you might find yourself lashing out at unsuspecting loved ones. Remember, we're all in this cosmic journey together. There may not be an 'i' in 'we', but there's certainly an 'us' in Venus. And let's talk about money. With Venus in Leo, money becomes a tool for creating joy and showing love. It's like the currency in a video game where the goal is to make yourself and your loved ones feel like a million space bucks. However, remember that splurging on thoughtful gifts for others can often bring more happiness than treating yourself. After all, generosity is the true Leo style. So, buckle up space cadets! Venus in Leo promises a colorful cosmic ride that could re-energize your relationships and remind you that a life without a bit of fun and excitement is as dull as a black hole. Enjoy the show!"

Mars

Mars is in Leo

Mars will change from Leo to Virgo in the next 24 hours.

Mars is prograde at 29 Leo 51' 54", moving at 0.61 degrees per day, and is 338925300km away and receding.

Mars Is In Leo

Sci-Fi Spectacular: Mars in Leo

Alright space cadets, listen up! We've got Mars doing a cosmic samba through the swanky constellation of Leo. Think of it as Mars taking a vacation in the galaxy's own Las Vegas. But remember, what happens in Leo, doesn't always stay in Leo.

Now, Leo is basically the life-of-the-party lion who knows that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy... or Jill a dull girl... or non-binary individuals a dull person. You get the point. So while Mars is shaking its groove thing in the heart of Leo, it’s time for us to shake off our serious spacesuits and make some room for joy, excitement, and a little bit of healthy mischief.

But hold onto your telescopes, it’s not all moonwalks and stardust. Mars in Leo also gives you the green light to follow your heart, like an intergalactic cupid. If there's something that gets your rocket engines roaring, now's the time to chase it. Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility. Don't let the cosmic confidence boost trick you into thinking you're the center of the universe. No one likes a space diva.

Warning: the drama levels may rise faster than a spaceship in zero-gravity when Mars dances in Leo. We all crave a little attention, but if we don’t get it, we might feel as slighted as Pluto when it was demoted from planet status. So, don’t be surprised if you find yourself wanting to roar like Chewbacca on a bad hair day. Just remember, it's all part of the cosmic rollercoaster ride.

Last but not least, remember this transit is like a cosmic mirror showing you your ego. It can be as beautiful as a supernova or as disastrous as a black hole. The choice, dear star traveler, is up to you.

Remember, the cosmos has a funny way of keeping us humble. That’s why we have asteroid belts. To keep our planetary pants from falling down.

Jupiter

Jupiter is in Taurus

Jupiter is prograde at 10 Tau 48' 43", moving at 0.16 degrees per day, and is 788102835km away and approaching.

Jupiter Is In Taurus

*Imperial March playing softly in the background*

When Jupiter Meets Taurus: A Galactic Love Story

"I find your lack of faith...in astrology disturbing," I say, adjusting my glasses and channeling my best Darth Vader impression. But unlike Vader, who used his powers to rule the galaxy, I'm here to help you navigate it. As we speak (or rather, as you read), our big bully friend Jupiter has decided to set up camp in the chilled-out pastures of Taurus.

Now, imagine Jupiter as a Jedi Knight, always questing for wisdom and knowledge. Taurus, on the other hand, is Yoda in disguise, sitting patiently on a rock, nodding knowingly while we run around like headless banthas. This meeting of celestial bodies is like a cosmic nudge, urging us to slow down, take a breath and realize that the Force - or our innate wisdom - is within us all along.

With Jupiter's pioneering spirit and Taurus' stubborn practicality, we might feel like we've just been handed a lightsaber and told to go chop down our dreams. And by that, I mean we're empowered to start checking off those goals, one by one. Not quite as dramatic as saving the galaxy, but hey, equally rewarding.

But here's where the plot thickens. Jupiter is also the Santa Claus of the zodiac, known for showering gifts and opportunities like candy. Combine that with Taurus, the space-bourgeoisie who loves a good splurge, and we might find ourselves on the verge of an interstellar shopping spree. We could strike gold, or we could crash-land in the swamp of financial ruin. My advice? Be like Han Solo. Be cool. Don't shoot first. We must exercise patience and avoid giving in to our inner Jabba the Hutt.

So as the Death Star hovers over the horizon, remember, the Force is with you. Tune into it, trust the process, and maybe, just maybe, you'll find your fortune in the stars. Or at least stop tripping over your own lightsaber.

"May the Force be with you," I say, concluding my horoscope. And also, "Don't underestimate the power of Jupiter in Taurus."

Saturn

Saturn is in Pisces

Saturn is retrograde at 06 Pis 48' 02", moving backwards at 0.04 degrees per day, and is 1359761005km away and approaching.

Saturn Is In Pisces

Saturn in Pisces: A Galactic Guide to Getting Your Groove On

Alright, cosmic comrades, it's time for some interstellar introspection! Saturn, the celestial CEO of Discipline and Boundaries, is taking a cosmic cruise through Pisces, the zodiac's dreamy, deep-thinking sign. This union is like Spock and Jimi Hendrix forming a band - it might seem odd, but trust me, they could drop some seriously mind-bending tracks!

Now, Saturn in Pisces is not a joyride on the Millennium Falcon. It’s more like a Vulcan mind-meld with your deepest dreams. Saturn, acting like an overly enthusiastic life coach, might start asking some tough questions about those daydreams you've been doodling on your Trapper Keeper. It may feel a bit like the Big Bang Theory gang dissecting your favorite sci-fi movie, but remember – sometimes, a little scrutiny can lead to better understanding. Or at least, an interesting debate on quantum physics.

This planetary pair-up might have us feeling a bit like we've accidentally ingested some of Alice's Wonderland "Eat Me" cake. Our dreams appear larger and more intense than usual, while sleep may become elusive, like a mischievous sprite from a Shakespearean play. But fear not, my starry-eyed friends! This is the perfect time to embrace your inner Zen Jedi. Meditate, take mindful walks (watch out for Ewoks), breathe like Darth Vader (minus the evil part), and catch some Z's. Heck, you might want to hit the hay early and let those dreams marinate. Just remember to keep a dream journal handy - you never know when you'll dream up the next great sci-fi novel!

So buckle up, space cadets! Saturn in Pisces is our chance to boldly go where no man or woman has gone before - deep into the heart of our dreams. Just remember, in the immortal words of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, "Don't Panic!"

Uranus

Uranus is in Taurus

Uranus is prograde at 22 Tau 04' 50", moving at 0.04 degrees per day, and is 3021269592km away and approaching.

Uranus Is In Taurus

Hello fellow stargazers and science nerds! Buckle up your astrological seatbelts and put on your cosmic crash helmets, because Uranus has moved into Taurus and it's about to get real wacky out there. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Uranus is 3021333453.689625740km away, how can it possibly affect me?" Well, my friend, that's the magic of the universe for you! Now, Taurus, our cosmic bull, prefers a steady pace - like a Sunday afternoon stroll through the farmers market, sorting recyclables, or alphabetizing your vinyl collection. But Uranus? Oh boy, Uranus is that eccentric, unpredictable uncle who shows up unannounced and turns your life into a Monty Python sketch. You know the type: one minute you're discussing weather patterns, next thing you know you're conducting a seance in the living room. For Taurus, this is akin to having their favorite vegan cheesecake replaced with tofu pudding - an unexpected and somewhat unsettling change. But remember, Taurians, change is the only constant in the universe, and even the most stubborn bull has to mooooove with the times. Now, Taurus has been the Wall Street of the zodiac, all about that cheddar, those Benjamins, the moolah. But with Uranus crashing the party, we might be looking at some changes in the fiscal forecast. Imagine, if you will, a world where Bitcoin replaces credit cards, banks become obsolete, and the stock market does the hokey pokey. Sounds crazy, right? But Uranus doesn't care about our conventional norms. On a personal level, this cosmic kerfuffle is all about re-evaluating our relationship with material possessions. Are we slaves to our stuff? In debt up to our eyeballs? Paying more interest than a sci-fi convention? Uranus says it's time to break free! It's like that moment when you finally decide to clean out your garage and realize you don't need half the stuff you've been hoarding. So, my star-crossed friends, let us embrace the chaos that Uranus brings. Remember, without some turbulence, there's no growth. And hey, if nothing else, you now have a great ice breaker at parties: "Did you know Uranus is in Taurus?" Guaranteed to get a laugh, or your horoscope back!

Neptune

Neptune is in Pisces

Neptune is retrograde at 27 Pis 39' 48", moving backwards at 0.01 degrees per day, and is 4419605725km away and approaching.

Neptune Is In Pisces

Greetings, space cadets! Buckle up because Neptune, the big blue gas giant, has just zipped into Pisces (and yes, I checked the astro-navigator, it's not just a glitch). Now, Neptune being 4,419,668,103.628605843km away, you might be thinking, "Well, that's a wee bit too far for my liking," but don't let the distance fool you. Neptune's gone retrograde and he's ready to party like a rock star... or should I say, a star rock? Now, what does Neptune in Pisces mean for us earthlings? Simply put, it's like wearing those trippy glasses from the 60s. Suddenly, we're seeing everything in a kaleidoscope of emotions and spiritual connections. Everyone's petty little squabbles? Irrelevant. All those things that separate us? Insignificant. It’s like turning on the cosmic nightlight, and voila! We realize unity is where the party is at. This cosmic event is not just about stargazing and contemplating your navel. It's about finding out what you can bring to the universal potluck. Maybe you've got a killer recipe for peace or a dynamite idea for eco-friendly transport. Whatever it is, Neptune in Pisces is your VIP invite to explore and share it. Feeling spiritually curious? This is the perfect time to enroll in that Zen gardening course you've been eyeing, or maybe dust off that old meditation cushion in the corner. It's like Neptune is your personal guru, guiding you towards the path of enlightenment (minus the ashram fees). Remember, we're all floating in this vast cosmic ocean together. So, let's make the most of Neptune's visit to Pisces and aim to leave the universe a little better than we found it, one star at a time. Because as Admiral William Adama would say, "Sometimes you gotta roll a hard six." And with Neptune in Pisces, now's your chance to do just that. Happy stargazing, folks!

Pluto

Pluto is in Capricorn

Pluto is retrograde at 29 Cap 24' 24", moving backwards at 0.02 degrees per day, and is 5057851594km away and approaching.

Pluto Is In Capricorn

Pluto In Capricorn: The Nerdy Nitty-Gritty

Ahoy there, celestial sailors! Our dear buddy Pluto, who we still refuse to demote from planet status (take that, International Astronomical Union), is having a grand old time in the sign of the goat, Capricorn. Now, Pluto is about as far from your local Starbucks as a politician is from a straight answer, clocking in at a whopping 5,057,860,579.078388214km away. And, just like a politician changing their stance during an election year, it's currently in retrograde, which means it appears to be moving backward in the sky. Don't worry, though, it's not actually going backward. That would be as absurd as suggesting a goat could climb a mountain...Oh wait.

Now, what does this mean for you? Well, Pluto and Capricorn are like two peas in a pod - they're both all about success, power, and getting stuff done. They're the cosmic version of that one friend who always seems to have their life together, while you're still trying to figure out how to do your laundry without shrinking your socks. This might mean that you're feeling extra motivated right now, but remember, even the most efficient rocket ship still needs a co-pilot. Don't forget to listen to others' ideas while shooting for the stars.

Here's where the science comes in. Pluto is all about transformation. It's about ditching those bad habits, like leaving your wet towels on the floor or procrastinating on your taxes. But it's not just about getting rid of stuff; it's about making room for new, better things. Just like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly, or a politician finally making a campaign promise they intend to keep. So embrace the change, folks. We're all in this galactic journey together!

In short, this transit is a bit like spring cleaning for your soul. So grab your celestial broom and dustpan and get to work. And remember, it's okay to make a mess while you're cleaning up. As long as you pick up the pieces in the end, you're doing just fine.

The Sun

Sun Square Moon

You must balance your emotions with your individuality. You may have difficulties today dealing with the opposite sex, authority figures or family members. Ego confrontations over emotional issues are likely to be the cause. Vitality may be low today, so keep stress to a minimum. Try to understand others' points of view before expressing your own. Get in touch with your true feelings. Emotional impulses may interfere with objective and good judgment.What people who were born with Sun square Moon in their natal charts want and what they need are in conflict. The Sun square Moon aspect is similar to the Sun opposition Moon aspect in this sense, but there are very notable differences. Whereas the struggle between wants and needs is mostly played out on the inside and through significant relationships with Sun opposition Moon people, Sun square Moon people tend to confront obstacles that come from the outside. In truth, the struggle is within, as it is a case of being “one’s own worst enemy”. There can be a tendency to attract challenging situations into the life as an unconscious attempt to recreate the tension of early childhood. As well, specific habits and attitudes can hamper their progress in life.These people generally have a need to achieve and accomplish something important, and they act out their internal struggle along the way. For whatever reason, these people didn’t feel needed or accepted. The clash between their parents or parent figures, if indeed there was one, made them feel unaccepted for who they were, and there can be a very real drive to prove themselves to the world (and/or to the parents). The parents may not have simply been opposite personalities, as is the case with Sun opposition Moon. It is more likely that their relationship was a continual struggle. Sun square Moon individuals internalized the tension in the cosmic air that they were born into, and felt out of place as a result. In some cases, they literally felt unwanted by one or both parents. Even if the parents didn’t clash, the early life was likely to have been over-stimulating and tense, causing the child to feel insecure.These people experience a struggle between their need for nurture and their need for independence. When they get the autonomy that they seem to crave, they feel unsupported by others. When they receive the support they crave, they feel smothered. This internal clash is most apparent in the relationships they form, especially in the first half of their lives when they may not be aware of these patterns. Confrontations and challenges are frequent–not just with romantic partners, but also on the job, with friends, and so forth. However, these people have a lot of drive and spunk. They are resilient creatures who have faced conflict and who have survived it. Although they face a struggle with fluctuating energy, they are motivated to accomplish something. Ideally, they learn through experience to accomplish something for themselves rather than to prove their worth to others.Some Famous People with Sun Square Moon: Geena Davis, Michael Douglas, Ricky Martin.People born with a Sun-Moon tension can spend much of their lives struggling to balance the principles of the Sun and the Moon within their personalities, and will bring this struggle to some degree into their relationships. The urge to form meaningful relationships is generally powerful, but relationships can be as much of a struggle to these natives as the inner conflict is to themselves. This inner conflict occurs with the square, opposition, and quincunx. The desire to find meaningful relationships is stronger than it is when the natal Sun and Moon form a sextile or trine, and early relationships in particular can be challenging until the stressful aspects are recognized as an inner tension.A stressful Sun-Moon aspect seems to imprint the native with the (often unconscious) expectation that relationships can very easily fail, and the natives will be especially aware of conflicts in partnership, taking them to heart. The upside of this natal conflict is found in this sensitivity itself! Those with a Sun-Moon opposition, in particular, are generally willing to work out problems in a relationship due to their acute awareness and sensitivity to the conflicts that arise in their partnerships. However, if they face a partner who denies the problems exist in the first place, as in the example above, they can easily become frustrated. This is because learning and growing through relationships is a basic urge – so basic that it is a need. These natives are learning about themselves through their relationships, and need partners who are willing to be a part of that process. Sun square Moon suggests an internal “war” between two equally powerful desires: the desire for emotional commitment and the desire for autonomy. The native can be quite defensive and even belligerent with others, and often over-sensitive, which can take its toll in personal relationships. Partners may complain that the native often seems to be spoiling for a fight, and relationships can be turbulent until the native learns to compromise.

Mercury

Mercury Trine Neptune

Today is a day for wishing upon a star and imagining that your most heartfelt dreams can and will come true. Idealism is high and you are both inspirational and imaginative. Your visualization powers are effective and strong. Somehow, you just know things today. Trust your intuition. Do some spiritual study. Listen to some inspirational and uplifting music.You are creative, perceptive, and imaginative. You draw heavily on your imagination and intuition to come to conclusions and make decisions. You easily sense the thoughts and feelings of others, and you are adaptable in your communications as you pay attention to how your words are received. You express yourself with subtle flair, sensitivity, and perhaps some charming quirkiness. You have an appreciation, and perhaps talent, for photography, the arts, poetry, fiction, spirituality, advertising, and promotion. You are naturally open to metaphysical or spiritual concepts. You might believe in things that others discard, and some with this position at least seem a little naive or childlike. Many of you have psychic ability, or at least very good hunches.The trine aspect is the more dynamic of the two harmonious aspects. Those with the sextile can call upon these traits when needed, and those with the trine between the Mercury and Neptune have incorporated the traits of the aspect into their personalities, expressing them naturally and consistently.Some Famous People with Mercury in Harmonious Aspect to Neptune: Sextiles – Brad Pitt, Fred Astaire, Drew Barrymore, John Cleese; Trines – Vanessa Redgrave, Michael J. Fox, Tammy Wynette, Oscar Wilde, Shirley Temple Black, Robb Thomas, Mia Farrow, Meryl Streep.

Mercury

Mercury Opposite Pluto

You may experience verbal boxing matches today along with a test of wills. Propaganda may be spread that just isn't true. Don't bully people into seeing the rightness of your cause. Be tolerant of others' viewpoints. Remember, you're not always right.You are so perceptive and you dig so deep for answers that you can be your own worst enemy. As a result, you might find ulterior motives or dark intent where there is none, and your suspicious, provocative attitude can cause some problems in your personal life, particularly if it reaches the level of paranoia. Not many people enjoy being second-guessed all the time, yet that is something that you are inclined to do, and a tendency that should be kept in check in your dealings with others. However, your determination to get to the bottom of any matter, to rip away falsehoods and expose true motives, can be used for good if you employ it in your work, for example, which can involve investigation and research, psychology, or revealing and perhaps dark creative arts. You can be insatiably curious about all that is hidden, taboo, repressed, or secret. You have a great love of debate, but should be careful that you don’t overpower others with your strong opinions, attempting to “convert” them to your frame of mind, or treat regular debate or exchanges of opinion as battlegrounds. Many of you do learn to harness your intense mental energy and apply it productively. You are capable of very hard work and effort.Interpretation sample from the In-Depth Profile report — You are bright and insightful but the very strength and depth of your vision can mislead you. In consequence, you get in your own way a lot. The magnitude of a project can intimidate you so that you don’t even embark on it. You are a perfectionist and compulsive. You fear being judged by others as inadequate and this quality has you afraid to act. Of course, you do overcome this many times in your day to day life, but it goes smoother for you when you stop attributing negative motives to those around you. You are able to do this when you feel better about yourself. Periods of meditation and contemplation are necessary to get to know yourself.Some Famous People with the Mercury in Hard Aspect to Pluto: Squares – Hank Williams, Brigitte Bardot, Bjork, Bo Derek, Cloris Leachman, George Lucas, Mickey Rooney, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Lee Iacocca, D. H. Lawrence; Oppositions – Oprah Winfrey, Boris Yeltsin, Elvis Presley, Shaquille O’Neal, Kurt Cobain.